WHAT IS WRONG WITH FLIRTING

The question of whether to flirt with an opposite sex or not can be answered when we look at the definition of flirting, according to the Oxford’s Dictionary. To flirt is to behave playfully as though you are sexually attracted to someone. From the definition, it is safe to conclude that when the Bible says you should flee from every appearance of evil, flirting is one of the appearances of sexual sin. You can be friendly with a person without being flirtatious and this article tells you just how to do that. You can avoid flirting with someone in the following ways:

1. Keep your compliments friendly: Be kind in your compliments but do not suggest attraction when you give compliments. Instead of saying, “your blouse makes you look sexy” or “you look hot in those pants”, say neutral statements like, “I like your blouse.” Make sure you do not compliment parts of the body of the opposite sex. You can say compliments about what their dressing, their attitude or their approach to work or their academics.
2. Respect their personal space: Refrain from touching someone’s face, hair or other intimate part of their body unannounced. Respect their personal space and limit touching other people to shaking of hands or patting their backs. Also, when you are talking to an opposite sex, make sure you keep a safe distance like an arm’s length from them. Keeping a distance from the opposite sex is respecting their personal space.
3. Do not take advantage of someone’s friendliness: When you notice that someone is being extremely friendly with you, do not take advantage of it. Maybe the person cooks for you or keeps a seat for you in class, make sure you do not take advantage of that by having a sexual relationship with the person. Make sure you process the person’s friendliness and let them know politely that you only have friendly intentions with them.
4. Don’t take advantage of other people’s loneliness or pain: Often, when people are lonely or going through a rough patch in life, they tend to be more vulnerable. When you realize that someone of the opposite sex is facing hard times, be a good shoulder to lean on, and don’t take advantage of their weak moments. Those that have just gone through a break-up are often vulnerable. It is, therefore, important to be their friends in such moments without endearing them to yourself through constant calls and visits. One way to ensure that they don’t get the wrong signals in their vulnerable seasons is to involve other people as you walk them through their pains. As a guy, make sure you go with some other female friends when you want to visit a hurting female friend; and vice versa.
5. Do not make a man love you: This is particularly for the girls. You don’t have to act on every attraction or crush you have. Do not break friendly boundaries to make a man love you. Do not spend excess time with him at night. Do not cook for him with the intention of getting him to notice you. Do not try to buy a man’s love by giving him money or through any other act of service. I can tell you for sure that it won’t work. The person might notice you for a while, but he will eventually see past your acts in the long run.  Stop forcing a relationship that was never meant to be.
6. Pray about your feelings: Praying about your feelings about the opposite sex will help you get the right perspective to it. Therefore, before you act on your feelings for an opposite sex, pray about it. Express your emotions to God in prayer. Tell God about the guy/girl you like, and wait for God to give you directions on what to do about that particular feeling or emotion. Subdue your feelings and emotions under the influence of the Holy Spirit. This is because the flesh has been crucified in you and you are now under the management of the Holy Spirit.

In your relationship with other people, make sure your thoughts, words and actions are pure. There is no smoke without fire, and flirting stirs up the emotions of others. This can be likened to starting a fire. Therefore, I implore you not to start a fire you cannot quench. Hear the words of the damsel in the Songs and Songs:

Swear to me, young women of Jerusalem, by the gazelles or by the does of the field, that you won’t awaken or arouse love before its proper time! Song of Songs 2:7 (ISV)

Don’t awaken love through flirtatious words and actions. Be wise!